Question 4: Help in prayer life How to pray for people in bondage? There are people who are under the bondage of situations, problems like debt, sickness, gossip or envy of others, competition, false propaganda, harsh employer, difficult fa…
YOUR QUESTION AND MY RESPONSE
Question 3: Help in the ministry How do I build a sermon from start to finish? The secret of an effective sermon is to make it a message which you preach to a congregation on the basis of their spiritual needs. So first of all, consider the dire…
YOUR QUESTIONS AND MY RESPONSE
Question 2: Marriage and Family Life
There is a brother who 17 years ago promised to marry a woman and even made it a promise to the parent of the woman and then traveled abroad. Along the line communication between the two broke. In the meanwhile, the brother became a Christian and eventually got married to a Christian woman. But in his greatest surprise, he went home after 17 years and found out that the woman he promised to marry is still waiting for him. Tell me whether this brother should marry this woman as a second wife or neglect her plea? What does the Bible say and what can I advise this brother who is seeking my help?
Thanks for your question and concern for the brother and the woman whom he promised to marry 17 years back. This is an unfortunate situation. It is also unfortunate that this brother had not communicated his new found faith to the woman he promised to marry. If she is not a believer, he should have told her that unless she accepts Jesus as her personal Savior and Lord, the Bible would not let him marry her (2 Corinthians 6:14-16). But if she also became a born again believer, he ought to have kept his promise. This is a breach of verbal agreement between them which he may confess to her. But it seems 17 years have elapsed since the promise was given and it is unfortunate that there was no communication between them during this period. It seems that he found a new love in the new land where he was living and willfully or conveniently forgotten the person to whom he gave a promise. But the woman seems to be intensely loyal and committed to him and waited for him for all these years and it must have been a great shock to her to find out that he is already married to another person. But it seems strange that she kept waiting for him even in the wake of his silence for the long 17 years. But now that he is married, God’s Word would not permit his marriage to be separated (Malachi 2:16 & Matthew 19:6). So on the basis of the Bible, there is absolutely no room for him to divorce his wife to marry the person to whom he gave a promise 17 years back. Secondly there is no biblical basis for a second wife for a believer which is expressly forbidden by God (Genesis 2:24; Romans 7:2). So how can we resolve this crisis on the basis of the Bible?
It seems to me that this bother has to meet the first woman and her family and ask for forgiveness for not keeping his vow to marry her. If she has not become a Christian believer, then that should be given as a genuine Biblical reason why he would not have married her because of his newly found faith. But it was his responsibility to communicate this to that woman and her family which was not done. This was a great mistake and a matter of great negligence. So it should be confessed in no unequivocal manner and with true humility and patience. In the event that they do not accept his confession, he may approach a pastor or elder of his church or a Christian counselor to counsel that woman’s family to accept this confession and the reality that he is already married which cannot be changed nor should he take a second wife which breaks Biblical teaching. He should fervently pray that God would speak to the family of this woman and help them to accept his confession. He should also sincerely pray that God would open the door for her to be married appropriately in the nearest future.
Hope you will be able to communicate this to your friend. It would be good if you would play the role of a Christian counselor to help this family to understand the unchangeable scenario because you know the scenario best. May God help you and your friend to thus put an end to this unfortunate situation for the glory of God!
Please send your questions to [email protected] and answers will be posted in the blog.
You may also write for confidential personal counseling and your concerns will be handled prayerfully.
YOUR QUESTIONS AND MY RESPONSE!!
Question 1: Marriage and family life
My husband and I have been together 17years. We dated 5 and been married twelve. We both have cheated before and we now are arguing all the time. I have found hidden things in his phone and he has in mine. Should we get divorced? I have been trying to communicate but he doesn’t. What does the Bible say about this??
Thanks for your question and your concern for your situation. I pray that your burdens will be lifted by God and that He will give you hope for a brighter future. Your situation is painful, but you are not alone in such experiences as there are so many others who have gone through such situations and found solutions from God to live happily.
Let us first of all understand that the Bible doesn’t permit divorce for a Christian believer. Moreover, the reason you have indicated in your question is not serious enough to contemplate on such a serious option as that of divorce. Arguments between a husband and a wife are not an unusual phenomenon. Disagreements often erupt between people and it is seen between husbands and wives also. I am sure you know that it is not possible for one to expect two humans to agree on everything. But you may resolve these disagreements through reconciliation rather than to confront, fight, argue and quarrel over it. Your basic difficulty in your situation is that you both have broken God’s commandment by becoming one flesh with more than one person in life and cheated on the one who is God’s gift to you for a lifetime. But there is deliverance for you both from this sin against God and against each other unless you address it as a grave sin and confess it to God and to each other and repent of it. The basis for reconciliation are (1) to confess the past sins that you both committed to each other and to God because cheating on each other is the breaking of the commandment of God -1 Thessalonians 5:14 & 15, Colossians 3:12 &13, Philippians 2:1-5. (2) Once you confess your sins to God and as you receive His forgiveness, it means that God would forget your sins and will not remember it any longer- Psalms 51, Psalms 32:1-2 – ; (3) You may then confess your sins to each other and ask for forgiveness; (4) Because you are forgiven by God, you must forgive each other also (Matthew 6:12); (5) You both must then renew your faithfulness to each other and should vouch never to cheat on each other in deeds or in thoughts, and not to ever commit this grave sin of adultery. (6) Once God forgives you and you receive His grace to forgive each other, please do not look for evidence against each other about past sins. When God doesn’t remember your sins any more, you also do not have the right to remember the sins your life partner has committed against you (Isaiah 43:25). (7) When the process of confession and forgiveness are over, you must understand that God has forgiven all your past sins and so you should also put all your sins behind your past and start living a new life of mutual trust, faithfulness and chastity. (8) It then is time to erase evidence of past sins and contact information of undesirable persons from your cell phone and e-mail inbox, lest it will tempt you to reminisce on the past and remind yourself of past relationships with its past guilt. (9) As you put your past behind, be watchful not to give opportunity for the flesh and the enemy to remind you both of the past or tempt you to keep linkages to all undesirable persons. Please do not ever use the forgiven sins of the past against each other as a weapon to win an argument.
One of the creative ways to rebuild your mutual communication is to praise God for forgiving your past sins and to thank your life partner for forgiving you, as you pray together. Your prayers together will strengthen your bond for each other. Please ask God to give you genuine love and respect for each other. Learn and practice the art of dealing with each other in grace and compassion. Use pleasant gestures and loving body language and interact with each other by using soft and simple words of expression of your gratitude for the other person for forgiving your past and for the spirit of accommodation. Both of you need to help each other to communicate effectively. As you thus help your partner to rebuild your relationship, you will be on your way to accomplishing creative and mutually satisfying communication with respect and dignity. Be patient and persevere much and wait for the other person to come up to your level. Express your new found love for each other and live for the other person who is willing to forgive your past and to love you as the special person God has chosen for you from among all the people of this world. Thus may your marriage be built up on love and forgiveness even as God has forgiven you in Christ!
Please do not contemplate on divorce which God hates (Malachi 2:16). Jesus Christ has expressly commanded that no one has any right to separate two lives which are joined together by God (Matthew 19:6). So for children of God who are married, divorce is not an option at all. It is God’s desire that you live together, forgive each other, forget your past and rebuild your marriage to live together to strengthen each other for an enjoyable and satisfying family life. May God Almighty help you to find new joy and peace in your married life and newer heights of love and mutual care!
You may send your questions to [email protected] and answers will be posted on the blog.
If you want personal and confidential counseling, please send your issues for prayerful handling at the same e-mail i.d.
TODAY IN THE WORD
THE CALL AND THE COMMISSION!!
The Call and the Commission!
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Mark 1:17-18 – “Come, follow Me.” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” At once they left their nets and followed Him.
“I heard Him call
‘Come, follow,’ – that was all
My gold grew dim
My soul went after Him,
I rose and followed –
That was all.
Who would not follow
If he heard Him call!”
Matthew 16:25 – “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it , but whoever loses his life for Me will find it.”
Prayer for Today
Dear Lord Jesus: Make me an instrument of your love to touch other lives. Amen!
Contact for prayer support and counseling without cost or obligation to [email protected]
INEXHAUSTIBLE SUPPLY LINE!!
Inexhaustible supply line!
Verse for Today: Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Philippians 4:19 – And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Human needs are so vast and varied that it is well nigh impossible for the world to satisfy it all. There are millions in this world whose basic needs like food, clothing and shelter are not met. Man also has needs in the emotional, social and spiritual realms of life which also remain largely unmet and unattended to. Scientific inventions and knowledge explosion have only enhanced the vastness of the needs, but have not even suggested ways to meet it. But God comes to the scene to tell man that if he is willing to submit his life to God, He will see to it that every need will be met according to His riches in glory through Jesus Christ. There is absolute assurance that our spiritual and emotional needs will be fully met by God. Social needs are met more qualitatively when more and more people accept God’s answer to social problems and inequalities. Physical needs will also be met when people are willing to share what they have with the have-nots. But what God gives to His children each day is the contentment in their hearts with what they have. When we trust God to meet our needs and start minding His business, He will in turn fill our hearts with faith to believe that we will enjoy a fulfilled life. When Abraham was called out of his own country to an unknown and unseen place, he had such assurance from God that he will be looked after by God. Apostle Paul tasted His providence and so he could boldly tell others what his God would do for them if they trust Him. God meets the needs of all His children at all times according to the measure of His riches which no human beings can estimate or match. Our God owns the cattle of a thousand hills and all the gold in the gold mines of this universe. He is the creator and owner of the trillions of galaxies in this universe. His Heavenly riches are even greater. All these riches are made available to His children through Jesus Christ. None else can excel God in giving.
Dear friend, are you a needy person knocking at the doors of this world for your sustenance? Do you have unmet physical, emotional, social and spiritual needs? Do you ever doubt that your vast needs can’t be met by anyone adequately? Remember, your God is so big and His resources are so vast that any of your needs will be met by Him without any difficulty. But you must bear in mind the truth that He has not promised wants or luxuries to you. He is concerned about needs and will not deprive you of your basic needs. He has promised to meet your daily needs as you trust Him for all your tomorrows. He will meet your emotional needs through the outpouring of His love in your heart through His Spirit. Your social needs will be met as you keep company with God’s children. Your spiritual needs will be met through God’s Word and His Spirit through the infilling. But we must live by faith in His capacity to give from His sufficiency to meet all your needs. We do not need to look to the hills and fields of the world to feed us, but to the Father in Heaven who has enough to give to us. His supply lines will leave no room for us to doubt or become anxious about our future. We are fortunate people to have such a benevolent Father who is so rich and has so much concern for us and our affairs? He will never leave us as orphans and wayward children.
Psalms 23:1 – The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.
Thought for Today
Faith is the key to open the heavenly warehouse to meet all the needs of God’s children.
Prayer for Today
Dear Lord Jesus: Open my eyes to see Your great riches which are stored up for my daily use. Amen!
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Contact for prayer support and counseling without cost or obligation to [email protected]
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GATHERING FAITH!!
Gathering faith! Verse for Today: Wednesday, January 15, 2014Psalms 104: 28 – You (God) give it to them, they gather it up; You open Your hand, they are satisfied with good. It takes the greatest giver with immeasurable resources to give to all who ar…
POWER IN DUST!!
Power in dust! Verse for Today: Tuesday, January 14, 2014Psalms 103:14 – For (the Lord) Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are dust. Only the maker knows how strong the product is. He knows its weaknesses as well as strengths and usefulnes…
COOL FIRE!!
Cool fire! Verse for Today: Monday, January 13, 2014Psalms 102:3 – For my days have been consumed in smoke, and my bones have been scorched like a hearth. Life’s bitter experiences often give us the feeling of going through fire and smoke. When answ…
PRAISE FROM PAIN!!
Praise from pain! Verse for Today: Sunday, January 12, 2014Psalms 147:3 – He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. We go through emotional trauma when relationships rupture or when our plans fall apart and we encounter failure and…
