In our study on the roles of husbands and wives as parents, we now come to the precious truth that God chooses each parent with great care. Speaking about Abraham in Genesis 18:19, God says "For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just..." God entrusts children with us for some time to train them and bring them up to love and obey Him. God is concerned how each parent trains his child. We must give our children back to God as Hannah gave Samuel back to God. We are reminded of what Pharaoh's daughter said to Moses's mother about baby Moses, "Take this child away, and nurse him for me, and I will give you your wages." (Exod.2:9). It is quite sensible to think that God will ask us (on the final day) an account of how we brought up the children entrusted with us. A careful examination of God's instructions in Deut.6 v.5, 6 reveals another great truth. God expects parents to love the Lord wholeheartedly and live a life of obedience to His Word, before they can teach their children to do so. “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.”
This means that parents themselves must live a godly and righteous life, in obedience to God's word and thus show their children the right path to follow. If parents are estranged from an intimate fellowship with God, how can they lead their children in to a love relationship with Him? If the parents themselves are not subject to divine authority, how can they expect their children to be in subjection to them? Parental authority can be exercised with spiritual weight and wisdom only as the parents live in subjection to God.
Many are the parents who do not want to live a godly life but want their children to grow up as godly, obedient children. Unless they show by their lives as to how God's rules govern their lives, they cannot expect their children to live according to the rules of God. There is another important truth that is often neglected in many homes. Many husbands and wives do not realize that it is very important that husbands and wives love and care for each other and fulfill their biblical responsibilities before they can expect their children to grow up as godly children. A child finds his security in knowing his parents love each other. When the child sees the intimacy between his father and mother, he is assured within that he will never be abandoned and can always be secure in the love relationship in the family (A special note to all the parents would be appropriate here. Love for the children should never take precedence over love for each other. The newborn should never become more important than one's spouse. Wives should take special care to see that husbands are not pushed back as they get busy taking care of the baby as mothers. Spouse and not the children should occupy the first place of priority. Growing up in a family where the father and mother live in love, harmony and unity would instill a great sense of confidence in the minds of the children)
There are many verses in the Bible that emphasize the importance of parental discipline. Romans 13:1, 2 teach that every authority (including parental authority) is given by God and he who rebels against authority rebels against God. God has delegated something of His authority to parents for the disciplining of their children. Every parent should exercise this authority with responsibility.
Proverbs 13:24 says, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” “Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death” (Proverbs 19:18). “Fathers do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). “What son is there whom his father doesn't discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have been made partakers, then are you illegitimate and not children.” (Heb.12:7, 8)
Children who grow up without receiving necessary discipline from their parents become rebellious and show little or no respect for any kind of authority, including God's. God was careful to instruct His people Israel concerning the training to be given to the children.
"Only be careful and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them" (Deuteronomy 4:9-10).
Children born to sinful parents naturally grow up with sinful tendencies and do not grow up to become godly men and women automatically. They have to be consciously trained to become so. They must be reared in a spiritual atmosphere under the careful supervision of godly parents. Remember: good children are the fruit of careful cultivation. Again in Ch.6 V.6-9 God says “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates”.
Rich Cather’s' explanation on this verse in his Deuteronomy Notes brings out the real meaning of this instruction. “Teach them diligently – shanan – means to sharpen, it means "to teach incisively". It's not just running the knife blade a few times over the pumice stone, it's going over and over and over it until it is razor sharp. The idea is that we are to keep going over and over and over God's Word with our children until they're "razor sharp" in God's Word”.
This passage speaks of an ongoing, continuous training; a training to be given all day long—at home, on the road, at night, and in the morning. This means that the training has to be given not just at specific times but at all times and that too through the parents' lifestyle. Children learn more by watching than teaching. Therefore, we must be careful in everything we do.
Rich Cather’s continues “Our responsibility is to be teaching them at both ends of the day. It should be a natural, way of life kind of thing. God isn't saying you have to sit them down and have a Sunday school class once a day. It's more than that. It's teaching them all throughout the day, learning from all of life's situations.”
This means that parents themselves must live a godly and righteous life, in obedience to God's word and thus show their children the right path to follow. If parents are estranged from an intimate fellowship with God, how can they lead their children in to a love relationship with Him? If the parents themselves are not subject to divine authority, how can they expect their children to be in subjection to them? Parental authority can be exercised with spiritual weight and wisdom only as the parents live in subjection to God.
Many are the parents who do not want to live a godly life but want their children to grow up as godly, obedient children. Unless they show by their lives as to how God's rules govern their lives, they cannot expect their children to live according to the rules of God. There is another important truth that is often neglected in many homes. Many husbands and wives do not realize that it is very important that husbands and wives love and care for each other and fulfill their biblical responsibilities before they can expect their children to grow up as godly children. A child finds his security in knowing his parents love each other. When the child sees the intimacy between his father and mother, he is assured within that he will never be abandoned and can always be secure in the love relationship in the family (A special note to all the parents would be appropriate here. Love for the children should never take precedence over love for each other. The newborn should never become more important than one's spouse. Wives should take special care to see that husbands are not pushed back as they get busy taking care of the baby as mothers. Spouse and not the children should occupy the first place of priority. Growing up in a family where the father and mother live in love, harmony and unity would instill a great sense of confidence in the minds of the children)
There are many verses in the Bible that emphasize the importance of parental discipline. Romans 13:1, 2 teach that every authority (including parental authority) is given by God and he who rebels against authority rebels against God. God has delegated something of His authority to parents for the disciplining of their children. Every parent should exercise this authority with responsibility.
Proverbs 13:24 says, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” “Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death” (Proverbs 19:18). “Fathers do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). “What son is there whom his father doesn't discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have been made partakers, then are you illegitimate and not children.” (Heb.12:7, 8)
Children who grow up without receiving necessary discipline from their parents become rebellious and show little or no respect for any kind of authority, including God's. God was careful to instruct His people Israel concerning the training to be given to the children.
"Only be careful and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them" (Deuteronomy 4:9-10).
Children born to sinful parents naturally grow up with sinful tendencies and do not grow up to become godly men and women automatically. They have to be consciously trained to become so. They must be reared in a spiritual atmosphere under the careful supervision of godly parents. Remember: good children are the fruit of careful cultivation. Again in Ch.6 V.6-9 God says “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates”.
Rich Cather’s' explanation on this verse in his Deuteronomy Notes brings out the real meaning of this instruction. “Teach them diligently – shanan – means to sharpen, it means "to teach incisively". It's not just running the knife blade a few times over the pumice stone, it's going over and over and over it until it is razor sharp. The idea is that we are to keep going over and over and over God's Word with our children until they're "razor sharp" in God's Word”.
This passage speaks of an ongoing, continuous training; a training to be given all day long—at home, on the road, at night, and in the morning. This means that the training has to be given not just at specific times but at all times and that too through the parents' lifestyle. Children learn more by watching than teaching. Therefore, we must be careful in everything we do.
Rich Cather’s continues “Our responsibility is to be teaching them at both ends of the day. It should be a natural, way of life kind of thing. God isn't saying you have to sit them down and have a Sunday school class once a day. It's more than that. It's teaching them all throughout the day, learning from all of life's situations.”
– John Kurian
