We considered the importance of marriage in the last issues. If this is so important a relation and one that cannot be broken except by death, utmost care must be taken in entering into it. As this relationship has a tremendous impact on our whole life and ministry, it cannot be lightly entered in to. This is an area where one must tread cautiously with much prayer. The Lord’s guidance is to be followed meticulously and His will ensured before entering this all-important relationship. Remember: Once you are in it, you are in it for life!
ENTERING IN TO MARRIAGE- CHOOSING A LIFE PARTNER
Whom to choose as marriage partner is the second most important decision one must make in life, the first being the decision to accept Christ as Saviour. Someone has said “the first decision decides our destiny after we die (live in heaven or hell) and the second before we die”. We read of two marriages in the Bible in which God was directly involved, the first being the marriage of Adam and Eve in Genesis chapter 2 and the second that of Isaac and Rebecca in chapter 24. They are given to us in the scriptures that we may get some spiritual lessons from them regarding choosing our partner.
The first truth to be noticed is the fact that it was God who saw the need of a partner for Adam first, before Adam himself did. We read in Gen.2:18 -And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him”. Immediately we read that God did something to meet his need. “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs and closed the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man” (V.21 22). What a wonderful God we have-One who sees our need and makes timely provision to meet, that need not leaving us to worry about it. All that Adam did was to rest in the Lord and then accept with great joy and excitement the partner whom God brought to him. If we ask Adam “where did you get your wife from, he has only one answer “from the Lord.” Now look at Eve, what she had to do. She just held the hand of God and followed Him to the person He brought her to. What a beautiful picture of the rest, trust, and guidance there ought to be in entering into a marriage!
In Gen.24, when a bride was needed for his son Isaac, Abraham trusted God to lead his servant to the right match for his son. (V.6,7) But Abraham said to him “The Lord God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and from the land of my family……will send His angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there.” (God appoints angels to find the right marriage partners for His children!) The servant also keeps looking to the Lord for guidance at every step. (v.12-14; 26-27). Then in V.50-51 the girl’s people say “The thing comes from the Lord…. take her and go, and let her be your master’s son’s wife, as the Lord has spoken.” They also felt the leading of the Lord here. In V.58 we read: Then they called Rebekah and said to her, “Will you go with this man? “And she said, “I will go.” So, they went to join Isaac. Isaac in the meanwhile was meditating in the field in the evening (V.63).
So, here we see all the parties involved, looking to God and God leading them in the right direction. We conclude from these scriptural accounts that we should look to God and trust God and be sensitive to His leading in the matter of finding the right marriage partner. The servant was not looking for any good or beautiful girl for Isaac, but his prayer was— “let her be the one You have appointed for Your servant” Isaac (V.14).
We need to understand that God is already preparing the most suitable partner for each of His children. What is important is to find out who that is and marry ‘the one’ God has appointed. It is only as one prayerfully waits for God’s best that he will be able to find that person. Here we see the danger of marrying someone out of infatuation-just by ‘falling in love’.
Coming to the practical side, a young man, contemplating marriage should start praying well in advance for God’s guidance and will in this matter. When he is of marriageable age, mature to handle responsibilities of a home and with income to maintain a family, he should start looking for a suitable match. On His side, he should be looking for a born-again believer who can be of spiritual help to him and compatible in every way. Sanctified common sense and wisdom should take precedence over emotion and excitement in this whole exercise. As proposals come, they should be weighed properly. Parental guidance and counsel of other godly men can be of tremendous help in making the right decision. Proper enquiries should be made to the best of our ability and opinion of those who know the proposed partner should be sought. Opinion of close friends, classmates, hostel/roommates, colleagues and spiritual friends in the same church can be of help here. Having done our part, we should trust God to take care of the rest. If we are totally committed to the will of God and if we ‘have done our homework’ well, God can be trusted to lead us in this matter.
“Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass” (Ps.37:5) “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths” (Prov.3:5,6) are God’s promises that we can rely on.
Young girls should look for spiritual men who can assume responsibility to lead and feed the family. One good question they can ask the men is “where will you take me (in life) if I come with you?”
Money, beauty, job, or anything material should not be the main criteria in decision making here. Confirmation of the will of God resulting in peace of mind should be given the first place in coming to a final decision. If you leave your choice to God, He will give you the best. “He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him”-Heb.11:6
ENTERING IN TO MARRIAGE- CHOOSING A LIFE PARTNER
Whom to choose as marriage partner is the second most important decision one must make in life, the first being the decision to accept Christ as Saviour. Someone has said “the first decision decides our destiny after we die (live in heaven or hell) and the second before we die”. We read of two marriages in the Bible in which God was directly involved, the first being the marriage of Adam and Eve in Genesis chapter 2 and the second that of Isaac and Rebecca in chapter 24. They are given to us in the scriptures that we may get some spiritual lessons from them regarding choosing our partner.
The first truth to be noticed is the fact that it was God who saw the need of a partner for Adam first, before Adam himself did. We read in Gen.2:18 -And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him”. Immediately we read that God did something to meet his need. “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs and closed the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man” (V.21 22). What a wonderful God we have-One who sees our need and makes timely provision to meet, that need not leaving us to worry about it. All that Adam did was to rest in the Lord and then accept with great joy and excitement the partner whom God brought to him. If we ask Adam “where did you get your wife from, he has only one answer “from the Lord.” Now look at Eve, what she had to do. She just held the hand of God and followed Him to the person He brought her to. What a beautiful picture of the rest, trust, and guidance there ought to be in entering into a marriage!
In Gen.24, when a bride was needed for his son Isaac, Abraham trusted God to lead his servant to the right match for his son. (V.6,7) But Abraham said to him “The Lord God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and from the land of my family……will send His angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there.” (God appoints angels to find the right marriage partners for His children!) The servant also keeps looking to the Lord for guidance at every step. (v.12-14; 26-27). Then in V.50-51 the girl’s people say “The thing comes from the Lord…. take her and go, and let her be your master’s son’s wife, as the Lord has spoken.” They also felt the leading of the Lord here. In V.58 we read: Then they called Rebekah and said to her, “Will you go with this man? “And she said, “I will go.” So, they went to join Isaac. Isaac in the meanwhile was meditating in the field in the evening (V.63).
So, here we see all the parties involved, looking to God and God leading them in the right direction. We conclude from these scriptural accounts that we should look to God and trust God and be sensitive to His leading in the matter of finding the right marriage partner. The servant was not looking for any good or beautiful girl for Isaac, but his prayer was— “let her be the one You have appointed for Your servant” Isaac (V.14).
We need to understand that God is already preparing the most suitable partner for each of His children. What is important is to find out who that is and marry ‘the one’ God has appointed. It is only as one prayerfully waits for God’s best that he will be able to find that person. Here we see the danger of marrying someone out of infatuation-just by ‘falling in love’.
Coming to the practical side, a young man, contemplating marriage should start praying well in advance for God’s guidance and will in this matter. When he is of marriageable age, mature to handle responsibilities of a home and with income to maintain a family, he should start looking for a suitable match. On His side, he should be looking for a born-again believer who can be of spiritual help to him and compatible in every way. Sanctified common sense and wisdom should take precedence over emotion and excitement in this whole exercise. As proposals come, they should be weighed properly. Parental guidance and counsel of other godly men can be of tremendous help in making the right decision. Proper enquiries should be made to the best of our ability and opinion of those who know the proposed partner should be sought. Opinion of close friends, classmates, hostel/roommates, colleagues and spiritual friends in the same church can be of help here. Having done our part, we should trust God to take care of the rest. If we are totally committed to the will of God and if we ‘have done our homework’ well, God can be trusted to lead us in this matter.
“Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass” (Ps.37:5) “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths” (Prov.3:5,6) are God’s promises that we can rely on.
Young girls should look for spiritual men who can assume responsibility to lead and feed the family. One good question they can ask the men is “where will you take me (in life) if I come with you?”
Money, beauty, job, or anything material should not be the main criteria in decision making here. Confirmation of the will of God resulting in peace of mind should be given the first place in coming to a final decision. If you leave your choice to God, He will give you the best. “He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him”-Heb.11:6