Is divorce an option for a believer?
Family, as we see in the scriptures, is the first institution of God. It is the basis of all other human relationships. It is also the basic unit of the society. From Gen.1:28 we understand that family is the means through which God carries out His plan for the world. In Genesis 6, when God decided to destroy the whole world by flood, He chose Noah’s family to continue His programme for the earth. God chose Abraham’s family to bless all the nations through them. It was through the family of Joseph and Mary that the Son of God entered into this world for the salvation of human race. In the Old and New testaments, we see God working through many families to carry out His great plans for the world. Families that stood faithful to God were used of Him to fulfil His plans. Here is a great challenge for us also to stand faithful to God and serve the purposes of God in our generation. Let us remind ourselves that God has a specific plan for each family in the world. As children are born into our families (baby boys or girls), it is God sending them in to the world to carry out His plans. The Indian mentality that ‘boys are a blessing’ is a wrong and unbiblical concept. We should be thankful to God for both boys and girls as they are given to us in God’s plan. Read what The Psalmist says in Ps.139 V.14-16
“For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb,
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret, and skilfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book, they all were written,
The days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them”.
These verses make it very clear that no one is born into the world by accident. The creator has a plan and purpose for each child born into the family. God plans all the details concerning families!
The first and strongest human bond that God designed for man is the bond between a husband and wife. No other human relation should take precedence here. Though children are important in the family, our relationship with children should only take the second place, the first being our relationship with our marriage partner. Children come to the scene only later as a visible expression of love between husband and wife. After being with the parents for a short while they leave to make their own family unit. Then the ‘Old man and his wife’ are left alone to live together till the end of their lives. The intimacy that God originally established in marriage relationship between husband and wife should be maintained properly to live together in happiness even as they get old, and the children leave the home.
Marriage bond is a permanent, indissoluble one. The teaching of the Lord Jesus in Mat.19:16 is very clear – “what God has joined together, let not man separate.” If our business fails, we can close it down. If there is a problem in our workplace, we can resign. But here in marriage there is no ‘way out’. We have to live together with our marriage partner ‘till death separates’ as the marriage vow says. Therefore, this relationship is to be maintained with utmost care and dignity that it deserves.
Another reason why marriage is to be taken seriously is that it affects one’s whole life and usefulness. The effectiveness of one’s life depends on the quality of his married life. One who is always struggling with the problems in his marriage can have no peace of mind or concentration to focus on other useful things in life. This is true in Christian ministry also.
The roles and responsibilities in family are exclusive and not exchangeable. This means, no one else can perform the duties and responsibilities assigned by God to husbands, wives, fathers, and mothers. In all other areas of life, one can step into another’s role when needed. For example, in your office, someone else will come forward to do your work, if you quit your job. In the context of a church, another elder can perform the duties of an elder who has become sick or invalid. Another preacher can preach in a meeting if the one originally assigned to preach fails to turn up. But that is not so with family responsibilities. If one fails as a husband, wife, or parent, no one else can step in to play that role. God has not made any alternate arrangement in the family sphere. This thought should bring in a serious sense of responsibility in our hearts.
Marriage relationship is a unique one as we consider the fact that husband-wife relationship is a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church as taught in Eph.5:22 to 32. See the instructions here. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” If we do not obey these instructions, we will be guilty of misrepresenting Christ and the church before the world. As people look at our married life, they should be able to see something of the love relationship between Christ and the church. This thought should drive us to our knees crying out to God for grace to be what God wants us to be in our married life.
“For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb,
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret, and skilfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book, they all were written,
The days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them”.
These verses make it very clear that no one is born into the world by accident. The creator has a plan and purpose for each child born into the family. God plans all the details concerning families!
The first and strongest human bond that God designed for man is the bond between a husband and wife. No other human relation should take precedence here. Though children are important in the family, our relationship with children should only take the second place, the first being our relationship with our marriage partner. Children come to the scene only later as a visible expression of love between husband and wife. After being with the parents for a short while they leave to make their own family unit. Then the ‘Old man and his wife’ are left alone to live together till the end of their lives. The intimacy that God originally established in marriage relationship between husband and wife should be maintained properly to live together in happiness even as they get old, and the children leave the home.
Marriage bond is a permanent, indissoluble one. The teaching of the Lord Jesus in Mat.19:16 is very clear – “what God has joined together, let not man separate.” If our business fails, we can close it down. If there is a problem in our workplace, we can resign. But here in marriage there is no ‘way out’. We have to live together with our marriage partner ‘till death separates’ as the marriage vow says. Therefore, this relationship is to be maintained with utmost care and dignity that it deserves.
Another reason why marriage is to be taken seriously is that it affects one’s whole life and usefulness. The effectiveness of one’s life depends on the quality of his married life. One who is always struggling with the problems in his marriage can have no peace of mind or concentration to focus on other useful things in life. This is true in Christian ministry also.
The roles and responsibilities in family are exclusive and not exchangeable. This means, no one else can perform the duties and responsibilities assigned by God to husbands, wives, fathers, and mothers. In all other areas of life, one can step into another’s role when needed. For example, in your office, someone else will come forward to do your work, if you quit your job. In the context of a church, another elder can perform the duties of an elder who has become sick or invalid. Another preacher can preach in a meeting if the one originally assigned to preach fails to turn up. But that is not so with family responsibilities. If one fails as a husband, wife, or parent, no one else can step in to play that role. God has not made any alternate arrangement in the family sphere. This thought should bring in a serious sense of responsibility in our hearts.
Marriage relationship is a unique one as we consider the fact that husband-wife relationship is a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church as taught in Eph.5:22 to 32. See the instructions here. “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” If we do not obey these instructions, we will be guilty of misrepresenting Christ and the church before the world. As people look at our married life, they should be able to see something of the love relationship between Christ and the church. This thought should drive us to our knees crying out to God for grace to be what God wants us to be in our married life.