The role of husbands was discussed in the last few issues and now let us come to the role and responsibilities of the wives as taught in the Bible. Under the influence of the women's liberation movement, serious confusion has crept into the society regarding the role of women. Therefore, it is important to have a biblical understanding of the role that God has assigned for women. A wife's role is crucial to the success of any marriage and therefore her role is never to be underestimated or ignored. A wife has the power to make or break a man. She can help her husband to become the man that God intended him to be.
The first role that God has assigned to women is to be helpers to their husbands. Gen. 2:18 says “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone, I will make him a help meet for him”. We see here that the very purpose of a woman's creation was to help man. Then the question arises: “Which are the areas where the wife is required to help man?” “In all areas” is a good answer; but as we understand the purpose behind God's creation of man, a better answer would be “to help man accomplish the purpose for which He was created.” We understand from the Bible that man was made to worship God, please God and give him friendship and company. As Westminster Catechism puts it “The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever”. If that is so, a woman's greatest role is to stand with her husband and help him to glorify God with His life and build a home where God is worshipped and honored. This is the area where she is required to help her husband. Whatever else she may do or accomplish is of no value in the sight of her creator if this primary role is ignored. (Living a family life with one's husband is the normal plan of God for a woman; however, exceptions are there where some women are called to remain single and offer to God a life that pleases Him.)
God expects a wife to stand with her husband and be a helper in all matters related to the management of the home (See 1 Tim.5:14). This includes taking care of the physical needs of the husband and children.
(Titus 2:4, 5), maintenance of the house, management of the kitchen etc. She plays a key role in showing hospitality and maintaining good relationships with all relatives and neighbors. Needless to say, her help is required all the more in bringing up children. In a family the husband needs the help of his wife in all the areas. All wives have to search their hearts and see if these God assigned roles are played faithfully.
If her 'helper' role is ignored, she misses the very purpose of her creation and her life. Instead, in the modern world, women are urged to pursue their own agenda and fulfill their own goals in life. This is obviously a deviation from God's original plan.
The word used in the original for “helper” is the Hebrew word 'ezer'. It should be noted that this word is used for God elsewhere in the Bible to say that God is our helper (See Psalm 115:9-11). We know that God as our helper is in no way subservient to us and so too the wife is not inferior to man in any sense. A helper is not a slave. A complementary companion and partner to stand alongside her husband and share everything in life is the biblical concept.
As we look at what the New Testament says about the responsibilities of the wife, the first one mentioned in Eph. 5:22 is, “Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and he is savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” This instruction to submit is also found in 1 Pet.3:1, Col.3:18. The reason for submission is clearly stated “For the husband is the head of the wife”. She should submit to her husband not because he is more intelligent, able, or smart but simply because God has appointed him as the head. This means, even if the wife is more educated, clever, or able than her husband, she should still submit to her husband. This role of submission was not determined by their choice but by God who instituted marriage.
Nothing is said about any “qualifications” which the husband must meet before the wife submits to him in everything. He doesn't even have to be a believer or a spiritual man. In 1 Pet.3:1-7 the wife is commanded to submit even if the husband is “disobedient to the word”. This means her submission is not dependent on the character of the husband.
Here the issue is acknowledging the leadership position God has assigned to the husband. A submissive wife makes a choice to be led by her husband, accepting his God given authority over her. The wife must subject herself to her husband by placing him in the position of leadership.
Some tend to think that submission is only for women and the Apostle Paul commanded them to submit because he was a male chauvinist. It is to be specially remembered that submission is not just for women. For the smooth functioning of the world and society, God has ordained authority and submission/leading and following in all areas of human society. In a country a ruler is appointed by God to rule, and the people are expected to submit. There is the submission of servants to masters, believers to elders, of Christians to one another etc. This is necessary for an orderly functioning of the society. So, submission is not something exclusively for wives but for everyone in their own sphere of life. In the family, God has ordained that the man should lead the family and the woman should follow. The husbands, to whom the wives submit, are also in submission to their higher authorities in their place of work. God has designed this order for the blessing and well-being of the families.
The first role that God has assigned to women is to be helpers to their husbands. Gen. 2:18 says “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone, I will make him a help meet for him”. We see here that the very purpose of a woman's creation was to help man. Then the question arises: “Which are the areas where the wife is required to help man?” “In all areas” is a good answer; but as we understand the purpose behind God's creation of man, a better answer would be “to help man accomplish the purpose for which He was created.” We understand from the Bible that man was made to worship God, please God and give him friendship and company. As Westminster Catechism puts it “The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever”. If that is so, a woman's greatest role is to stand with her husband and help him to glorify God with His life and build a home where God is worshipped and honored. This is the area where she is required to help her husband. Whatever else she may do or accomplish is of no value in the sight of her creator if this primary role is ignored. (Living a family life with one's husband is the normal plan of God for a woman; however, exceptions are there where some women are called to remain single and offer to God a life that pleases Him.)
God expects a wife to stand with her husband and be a helper in all matters related to the management of the home (See 1 Tim.5:14). This includes taking care of the physical needs of the husband and children.
(Titus 2:4, 5), maintenance of the house, management of the kitchen etc. She plays a key role in showing hospitality and maintaining good relationships with all relatives and neighbors. Needless to say, her help is required all the more in bringing up children. In a family the husband needs the help of his wife in all the areas. All wives have to search their hearts and see if these God assigned roles are played faithfully.
If her 'helper' role is ignored, she misses the very purpose of her creation and her life. Instead, in the modern world, women are urged to pursue their own agenda and fulfill their own goals in life. This is obviously a deviation from God's original plan.
The word used in the original for “helper” is the Hebrew word 'ezer'. It should be noted that this word is used for God elsewhere in the Bible to say that God is our helper (See Psalm 115:9-11). We know that God as our helper is in no way subservient to us and so too the wife is not inferior to man in any sense. A helper is not a slave. A complementary companion and partner to stand alongside her husband and share everything in life is the biblical concept.
As we look at what the New Testament says about the responsibilities of the wife, the first one mentioned in Eph. 5:22 is, “Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and he is savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” This instruction to submit is also found in 1 Pet.3:1, Col.3:18. The reason for submission is clearly stated “For the husband is the head of the wife”. She should submit to her husband not because he is more intelligent, able, or smart but simply because God has appointed him as the head. This means, even if the wife is more educated, clever, or able than her husband, she should still submit to her husband. This role of submission was not determined by their choice but by God who instituted marriage.
Nothing is said about any “qualifications” which the husband must meet before the wife submits to him in everything. He doesn't even have to be a believer or a spiritual man. In 1 Pet.3:1-7 the wife is commanded to submit even if the husband is “disobedient to the word”. This means her submission is not dependent on the character of the husband.
Here the issue is acknowledging the leadership position God has assigned to the husband. A submissive wife makes a choice to be led by her husband, accepting his God given authority over her. The wife must subject herself to her husband by placing him in the position of leadership.
Some tend to think that submission is only for women and the Apostle Paul commanded them to submit because he was a male chauvinist. It is to be specially remembered that submission is not just for women. For the smooth functioning of the world and society, God has ordained authority and submission/leading and following in all areas of human society. In a country a ruler is appointed by God to rule, and the people are expected to submit. There is the submission of servants to masters, believers to elders, of Christians to one another etc. This is necessary for an orderly functioning of the society. So, submission is not something exclusively for wives but for everyone in their own sphere of life. In the family, God has ordained that the man should lead the family and the woman should follow. The husbands, to whom the wives submit, are also in submission to their higher authorities in their place of work. God has designed this order for the blessing and well-being of the families.
– John Kurian