In our study of the biblical roles of wives, we are looking at her role of submission. Let us look at the biblical passages on this subject.
Eph.5:22-24 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”
Submission to husband does not mean that she cannot disagree with him or that she cannot express her own opinion. Col.3:18- “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”
Titus 2:4,5- “(The older women) “admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”
1 Peter 3:1, 2- “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.”
Before we consider what is meant by submission in the Bible, we need to understand what it does not mean. It is not a question of man's superiority or women's inferiority but of God's order and will. It is difference in function, not of value. There is no hint or suggestion of slavery to men here. It does not mean blind obedience without any freedom to disagree with his views or to express her opinions and suggestions. Submission is not humiliation or degradation. Submissiveness is not timidity or a sign of weakness.
The Greek word for submission is "hupotasso" a military term, meaning to rank under or “to place under”. The same word appears four times in 1 Cor.15:27, 28 speaking of all things being placed in Christ's control. The word 'submit' is so rich in meaning that Bob Deffinnbaugh, a well-known Bible Teacher suggests several words- surrender, sacrifice, service, authority, obedience and priority- each of which identifies a certain element of submission.
The scriptural meaning of submission is subjection to husband's leadership, acknowledging his God given position and authority. Thereby she is accepting the headship position God assigned to her husband. This acknowledgement of authority helps her to take up subordinate roles in all spheres of her family life. This is done voluntarily with no pressure or coercion. Submission is an act of the will — it is the result of a choice, a decision and is a mark of strength, not of weakness. Mathew Henry in His commentary on 1 Pet 3 writes “A cheerful subjection, and a loving, reverential respect, are duties which Christian women owe their husbands, whether they be good or bad; these were due from Eve to Adam before the fall, and are still required, though much more difficult now than they were before”.
The manner of submission also is indicated- “as to the Lord” (V.22) and as the “church is subject to Christ” (V.24). The wife's submission is a reflection of the submission of the church to Christ. When she submits, she is actually submitting to God and His Word, knowing that it pleases her Lord. Submission to one's husband is an act of obedience to the Lord and His word not just a mark of obedience to her husband. A wife should submit, not because her husband asks her to submit but because the Lord asks her to submit.
Gills exposition of the Entire Bible gives a more comprehensive explanation to “as unto the Lord”; that is, either as the Lord has commanded, that so it should be, showing a regard to his precepts; or as in the sight of the Lord, and so yielding to it sincerely and heartily; or in things pertaining to the Lord, which are consistent with the law of the Lord, and the Gospel of Christ; and in like manner as the church is subject to Christ, her Lord and husband.
Submission to husband does not mean that she cannot disagree with him or that she cannot express her own opinion. Her opinion very often may be different from her husband's. It is right for her to express her opinion since she is her husband's helper, not his slave. Giving her opinions and suggestions may help him to see things from a different point of view and make a better decision. A wife can bring to attention the mistakes of her husband and thus save him from making wrong decisions. So, it is always good to discuss things with the husband and then allow the husband to make the final decision. Even if the husband fails to see her viewpoint and thinks that his opinion is better, she should willingly let him take the decision according to his understanding and conviction.
“Wives, submit to 'your own' husbands” is the biblical instruction. It is not strangers that they are required to be subject to. It is interesting to note that every time that obedience is enjoined upon women to their husbands, the Greek,"idios,""one's own” is peculiarly used. God demands subjection only to her own husband, not to any other man.
Peter in his first epistle ch.3 v.5 points out that “the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands”, and in V.6 gives the example of Sarah who obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. We are taught here that submission involves acknowledging the husband's position and authority. It is honoring the husband in an attitude of reverence. Eph.5:33b instructs wives to respect their husbands. The word used for 'respect' in the Greek language here is 'phobeo' meaning 'fear'. It means that wives are required to show reverential fear as Sarah did. This kind of submission takes humility. It may be naturally difficult for a woman (because of her inherent sinful nature) to submit. Therefore, a lot of prayer and relying on the Holy Spirit also is needed. God will give sufficient grace and help to the one who asks for it.
It is worth noting that Peter describes this sort of conduct as being “very precious in the sight of God” (1 Pet.3:4b). God expects every wife to manifest a meek and submissive spirit and commends them who do so.
It is needless to say that a wife has to obey her husband only in such matters as are in accordance with the Word of God. She is not required by the Lord to obey him if he asks her to do anything against God and her own conscience. Her first loyalty and obedience are to God. Wives are asked to submit to their own husbands only “as is fitting in the Lord” (Col.3:18) John Gill in His exposition of the Bible observes “This phrase may also be considered as a restriction and limitation of this subjection; that though it reaches to all things, yet only to such as are agreeable to the will of the Lord, and not contrary to the Gospel of Christ; for in these they are not to be subject to them, but to Christ the Lord; but in all other things they are, even as the church is subject to Christ” The path of submission and obedience is something God has ordained for wives for their own good and the blessing of family life. Blessed are the women who understand this.
Eph.5:22-24 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”
Submission to husband does not mean that she cannot disagree with him or that she cannot express her own opinion. Col.3:18- “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”
Titus 2:4,5- “(The older women) “admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”
1 Peter 3:1, 2- “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.”
Before we consider what is meant by submission in the Bible, we need to understand what it does not mean. It is not a question of man's superiority or women's inferiority but of God's order and will. It is difference in function, not of value. There is no hint or suggestion of slavery to men here. It does not mean blind obedience without any freedom to disagree with his views or to express her opinions and suggestions. Submission is not humiliation or degradation. Submissiveness is not timidity or a sign of weakness.
The Greek word for submission is "hupotasso" a military term, meaning to rank under or “to place under”. The same word appears four times in 1 Cor.15:27, 28 speaking of all things being placed in Christ's control. The word 'submit' is so rich in meaning that Bob Deffinnbaugh, a well-known Bible Teacher suggests several words- surrender, sacrifice, service, authority, obedience and priority- each of which identifies a certain element of submission.
The scriptural meaning of submission is subjection to husband's leadership, acknowledging his God given position and authority. Thereby she is accepting the headship position God assigned to her husband. This acknowledgement of authority helps her to take up subordinate roles in all spheres of her family life. This is done voluntarily with no pressure or coercion. Submission is an act of the will — it is the result of a choice, a decision and is a mark of strength, not of weakness. Mathew Henry in His commentary on 1 Pet 3 writes “A cheerful subjection, and a loving, reverential respect, are duties which Christian women owe their husbands, whether they be good or bad; these were due from Eve to Adam before the fall, and are still required, though much more difficult now than they were before”.
The manner of submission also is indicated- “as to the Lord” (V.22) and as the “church is subject to Christ” (V.24). The wife's submission is a reflection of the submission of the church to Christ. When she submits, she is actually submitting to God and His Word, knowing that it pleases her Lord. Submission to one's husband is an act of obedience to the Lord and His word not just a mark of obedience to her husband. A wife should submit, not because her husband asks her to submit but because the Lord asks her to submit.
Gills exposition of the Entire Bible gives a more comprehensive explanation to “as unto the Lord”; that is, either as the Lord has commanded, that so it should be, showing a regard to his precepts; or as in the sight of the Lord, and so yielding to it sincerely and heartily; or in things pertaining to the Lord, which are consistent with the law of the Lord, and the Gospel of Christ; and in like manner as the church is subject to Christ, her Lord and husband.
Submission to husband does not mean that she cannot disagree with him or that she cannot express her own opinion. Her opinion very often may be different from her husband's. It is right for her to express her opinion since she is her husband's helper, not his slave. Giving her opinions and suggestions may help him to see things from a different point of view and make a better decision. A wife can bring to attention the mistakes of her husband and thus save him from making wrong decisions. So, it is always good to discuss things with the husband and then allow the husband to make the final decision. Even if the husband fails to see her viewpoint and thinks that his opinion is better, she should willingly let him take the decision according to his understanding and conviction.
“Wives, submit to 'your own' husbands” is the biblical instruction. It is not strangers that they are required to be subject to. It is interesting to note that every time that obedience is enjoined upon women to their husbands, the Greek,"idios,""one's own” is peculiarly used. God demands subjection only to her own husband, not to any other man.
Peter in his first epistle ch.3 v.5 points out that “the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands”, and in V.6 gives the example of Sarah who obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. We are taught here that submission involves acknowledging the husband's position and authority. It is honoring the husband in an attitude of reverence. Eph.5:33b instructs wives to respect their husbands. The word used for 'respect' in the Greek language here is 'phobeo' meaning 'fear'. It means that wives are required to show reverential fear as Sarah did. This kind of submission takes humility. It may be naturally difficult for a woman (because of her inherent sinful nature) to submit. Therefore, a lot of prayer and relying on the Holy Spirit also is needed. God will give sufficient grace and help to the one who asks for it.
It is worth noting that Peter describes this sort of conduct as being “very precious in the sight of God” (1 Pet.3:4b). God expects every wife to manifest a meek and submissive spirit and commends them who do so.
It is needless to say that a wife has to obey her husband only in such matters as are in accordance with the Word of God. She is not required by the Lord to obey him if he asks her to do anything against God and her own conscience. Her first loyalty and obedience are to God. Wives are asked to submit to their own husbands only “as is fitting in the Lord” (Col.3:18) John Gill in His exposition of the Bible observes “This phrase may also be considered as a restriction and limitation of this subjection; that though it reaches to all things, yet only to such as are agreeable to the will of the Lord, and not contrary to the Gospel of Christ; for in these they are not to be subject to them, but to Christ the Lord; but in all other things they are, even as the church is subject to Christ” The path of submission and obedience is something God has ordained for wives for their own good and the blessing of family life. Blessed are the women who understand this.
– John Kurian