In our last issue we considered the command in Eph.5:25 to love our wives as Christ loved the church. Now let us look at the following verses 26 and 27.
“That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish”.
The love of Christ given to us here as a model is a sanctifying love. The Lord wants all husbands to manifest this sanctifying love in relation to their wives. The word "sanctification" means "to set apart for special use"; “set apart” by her husband in a way that enriches and develops her into a complete person.
There was a custom in ancient times for a bride to take a bath before she comes to the wedding altar. She would be presented before her husband "having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing" She was 'sanctified' for the wedding. The idea here in Eph.5 is that of Christ sanctifying the church, his bride with the Word of God and so should the husbands too sanctify their wives.
This means that husband should help his wife in the process of sanctification, to get conformed to the image of Christ. He should lead her to a life of purity. The husband who wants to sanctify his wife will pray for her, share with her the word of God, and lead her to a life of holiness and godliness. What Christ is to His church, so we are to be to our wives. Just as God's love seeks to cleanse the loved ones from every sin, so the husband's love as well should sanctify her and keep her from any kind of defilement in her life.
Here the husband is the sanctifier and the husband's job is to help his wife to grow in her spiritual life. Just as we have a saviour in Christ, wife should have a saviour in her husband. God holds husbands responsible for the spiritual growth and maturing of their wives. For a husband to be personally equipped to nourish his wife spiritually, he has to develop spiritual grace first of all in his own life.
John MacArthur says it this way: just as "saving grace makes believers holy through the cleansing agency of the Word of God . . . it is with that same purpose and in that same love that husbands are to cultivate the purity, righteousness, and sanctity of their wives."
Here is a comment by another man of God "As husbands, we are to first and foremost love our wives in such a way that our influence and input into their lives enable them to fully get developed with all God has for them spiritually, (for their spirits), emotionally and intellectually (for their souls) and physically (for their bodies.) Their lives should be beautiful and glorious, full of God's goodness through the loving investment of their husbands. Because of our loving leadership our wives should become women increasingly dedicated to God and to homes that are a reflection of Christ's love for the world. Husbands will also begin to discover expressions of God's gifts in their wives blossoming."
Now let us see the instructions in verses 28-29. "So, husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church." The word "nourish" is the word that speaks of the tender care of nourishing children to maturity. It mainly refers to physical needs. It means to provide all that the wife requires, knowing her needs. The husband should take care of her food, clothing and health. It is the husband's responsibility.
The other word is "cherish", which means to make warm. This word has primary reference to mind. Husband should take care of the mental, psychological needs of his wife. He should take care of her spiritual welfare and thus keep her mentally happy. Physical presence of the husband, praying together with the wife, assuring her always of his love and proper communication would help in this process of cherishing. She should feel the warmth of her husband's love and that will give her a sense of security. It is a well-known fact that a person's physical health depends on his mental happiness, to a great extent.
All husbands should remember that no wife will be satisfied by the material things alone. She longs for his physical presence and company. She wants to feel loved and cared for. In these days when people are more concerned about material affluence, many husbands live away from their wives (in another country) working hard to make money. Needless to say they fail in their God given responsibility to cherish their wives. It may be too late when they realize the danger of this lifestyle. Husbands who ignore this aspect do great harm to the mental and spiritual wellbeing of their wives.
Bob Lepine, Author observes "A man who understands the husband's role in a Christian marriage loves the wife as himself, providing natural, spiritual and emotional nurturing and sustenance. The godly husband protects the wife from seen and unseen danger; edifies or builds her up by constantly reaffirming a heartfelt love. He allows the woman the liberty to make decisions but also provides encouragement and comfort when those decisions may not have the best outcomes. The man of God does not bring the wife into bondage by imposing fleshly rules and regulations, but he directs the woman, as the lesser vessel to look to God first and foremost."
Wives should be able to look to their husbands for help and guidance as they become increasingly "set apart" for God's plan and purposes. The husband is expected to be the most significant, transforming force in the life of his wife. He should be greater help than her parents, friends or women's Bible study. Wife also should understand that her husband is the God-appointed sanctifier in her life.
In Eph.5:27 we read of Christ "presenting it to himself a glorious church". We also ought to present our wives before the Lord one day as those who have achieved highest level of glory, having accomplished God’s purpose for their lives. Husbands should present their wives on the final day "without spot or wrinkle or any such thing". They should protect their wives from all forms of evil, worldliness and carnality and present them as pure and godly. The same commitment Jesus has, to preserve us holy and without any blemish, should be seen in the lives of all believing husbands. Remember: husbands are to be a primary resource of their wives' sanctification.