We live in a permissive society where everything is right, and nothing is wrong. Morality is seen as matter of 'preference'. “The ancient landmarks which our fathers have set” are removed and moral values are ignored. 'Everyone does what seems right in his own eyes.' Indulging in sexual activities before marriage has become a very common thing and many have fallen into this trap. “Why wait till marriage? Enjoy it now itself” they say. In modern society pre-marital sex is no more considered a taboo. Even homosexual acts are accepted as normal in many societies. Consensual sexual activities between adults are legally accepted in many places and we are slowly losing our right to raise a voice of protest these things. Pornography on the internet and blue films draw many to a promiscuous lifestyle.
Movies, TV shows, advertisements, magazines, and books are all geared to excite sexual passion in the minds of people and a sensual touch is given to everything. The Bible clearly says that it was God who created human beings as male and female and commanded them to multiply (Gen.1:27, 28). “So, God created man in His own image; in the image of God, He created him; male and female He created them”. Then God blessed them, and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it”. Several portions of Scripture teach that God created sex and gave it to human beings for their enjoyment and the propagation of human race. Gen.1:31 states “Then God saw everything that He had made and indeed it was very good.” Everything God has made is good and they are to be used within the limits prescribed by God. God has limited sexual activity within the confines of marriage. In Gen.2:24, we read God's rule concerning this. “Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh”
The sequence here is very clear: leaving father and mother (at the point of marriage) comes first and union cleaving to one's wife. God's order is - get married first and then be physically joined to one's wife. Heb.13:4 also teach this truth. "Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge". The word "bed' used in this verse clearly means sexual union. This is allowed only within marriage and the next part of the verse explicitly teaches that anyone indulging in pre, or extra marital sexual activity will be judged by God. Prov.5:15-19 also prescribes that a man should draw all his sexual satisfaction only from his wife. Sex before or outside marriage is clearly forbidden in Scripture.
God wants all unmarried men and women to keep themselves sexually pure before marriage. The opportunities and temptations to 'try' sex is everywhere around us in this permissive society. Solomon exhorts all young men and women "Not to stir up nor awaken love until it pleases." (Song of Solomon 2:7) This instruction is repeated in 3:5 and 8:4. Sex finds its fulfilment and full enjoyment only in the realm God has appointed, that is within marriage. Any attempt to experiment outside the limits of what God has placed, will only spoil the beauty and enjoyment of it. Anyone who deviates from God's rules does so to their own peril, bringing serious consequences upon themselves.
Sex within marriage and sex outside of marriage are two very different things. Within marriage sex is an expression of true love and commitment between the two. It is a blessed and sacred union between a man and his wife. It is not just a physical act but a combination of spiritual, emotional, and physical union. Outside of marriage, it is just a physical act for self-gratification without true love or commitment. It lacks depth and real intimacy. Many who indulge in sexual activities before marriage come under the grip of guilt for, they somehow feel that they are doing something forbidden. Some develop a negative attitude to sex itself because of this. This attitude prevents them from enjoying sex in its real fullness after marriage.
Sex before the marriage robs you of the real excitement that should be found in preparing for one's wedding day. After all, they have already experienced it all' and there is nothing new about the wedding night.
Having stated God's rules and prescriptions regarding the use of sex, one must know how to control his passions in the midst of temptations all around him and keep himself/herself totally pure for his/her life partner. Daniel who "purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself" (Dan.1:8) is a good model before us. There stands Moses in the hall of fame in Heb.11 as one who "chose rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin". We also need to exercise self-discipline in the use of our body. Paul in 1 Cor 9:27 shows how he kept his body under control and made it his slave. We should be careful not to cause sensual excitement by our dressing, look, touch, gesture or talk.
One should also avoid all places of temptation as far as possible and "flee youthful lusts" (2 Tim.2:22). Guarding oneself in this wicked world is very important. Think of Joseph in Gen.39 who did not heed his master’s wife "to lie with her or to be with her." Later we read "he left his garment in her hand and fled and ran outside." (Verses 10- 12). Though he left his coat, he kept his character. These were all men who said "NO" to sin and its pleasures, challenging us today to do the same. Daily prayerful dependence on the Lord realizing the weakness of the flesh is another important thing to do. (Rom.7:18) Obeying the promptings of the Holy Spirit within us and using spiritual resources like the Word of God, prayer, fellowship with God's people will make us strong enough to say 'No' to sin. Wait till the day of marriage to enjoy real love in its fullness. God gives the best to those who wait for His time.
Movies, TV shows, advertisements, magazines, and books are all geared to excite sexual passion in the minds of people and a sensual touch is given to everything. The Bible clearly says that it was God who created human beings as male and female and commanded them to multiply (Gen.1:27, 28). “So, God created man in His own image; in the image of God, He created him; male and female He created them”. Then God blessed them, and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it”. Several portions of Scripture teach that God created sex and gave it to human beings for their enjoyment and the propagation of human race. Gen.1:31 states “Then God saw everything that He had made and indeed it was very good.” Everything God has made is good and they are to be used within the limits prescribed by God. God has limited sexual activity within the confines of marriage. In Gen.2:24, we read God's rule concerning this. “Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh”
The sequence here is very clear: leaving father and mother (at the point of marriage) comes first and union cleaving to one's wife. God's order is - get married first and then be physically joined to one's wife. Heb.13:4 also teach this truth. "Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge". The word "bed' used in this verse clearly means sexual union. This is allowed only within marriage and the next part of the verse explicitly teaches that anyone indulging in pre, or extra marital sexual activity will be judged by God. Prov.5:15-19 also prescribes that a man should draw all his sexual satisfaction only from his wife. Sex before or outside marriage is clearly forbidden in Scripture.
God wants all unmarried men and women to keep themselves sexually pure before marriage. The opportunities and temptations to 'try' sex is everywhere around us in this permissive society. Solomon exhorts all young men and women "Not to stir up nor awaken love until it pleases." (Song of Solomon 2:7) This instruction is repeated in 3:5 and 8:4. Sex finds its fulfilment and full enjoyment only in the realm God has appointed, that is within marriage. Any attempt to experiment outside the limits of what God has placed, will only spoil the beauty and enjoyment of it. Anyone who deviates from God's rules does so to their own peril, bringing serious consequences upon themselves.
Sex within marriage and sex outside of marriage are two very different things. Within marriage sex is an expression of true love and commitment between the two. It is a blessed and sacred union between a man and his wife. It is not just a physical act but a combination of spiritual, emotional, and physical union. Outside of marriage, it is just a physical act for self-gratification without true love or commitment. It lacks depth and real intimacy. Many who indulge in sexual activities before marriage come under the grip of guilt for, they somehow feel that they are doing something forbidden. Some develop a negative attitude to sex itself because of this. This attitude prevents them from enjoying sex in its real fullness after marriage.
Sex before the marriage robs you of the real excitement that should be found in preparing for one's wedding day. After all, they have already experienced it all' and there is nothing new about the wedding night.
Having stated God's rules and prescriptions regarding the use of sex, one must know how to control his passions in the midst of temptations all around him and keep himself/herself totally pure for his/her life partner. Daniel who "purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself" (Dan.1:8) is a good model before us. There stands Moses in the hall of fame in Heb.11 as one who "chose rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin". We also need to exercise self-discipline in the use of our body. Paul in 1 Cor 9:27 shows how he kept his body under control and made it his slave. We should be careful not to cause sensual excitement by our dressing, look, touch, gesture or talk.
One should also avoid all places of temptation as far as possible and "flee youthful lusts" (2 Tim.2:22). Guarding oneself in this wicked world is very important. Think of Joseph in Gen.39 who did not heed his master’s wife "to lie with her or to be with her." Later we read "he left his garment in her hand and fled and ran outside." (Verses 10- 12). Though he left his coat, he kept his character. These were all men who said "NO" to sin and its pleasures, challenging us today to do the same. Daily prayerful dependence on the Lord realizing the weakness of the flesh is another important thing to do. (Rom.7:18) Obeying the promptings of the Holy Spirit within us and using spiritual resources like the Word of God, prayer, fellowship with God's people will make us strong enough to say 'No' to sin. Wait till the day of marriage to enjoy real love in its fullness. God gives the best to those who wait for His time.
– John Kurian