Why Marry?

Image
In the last issues we were dealing with the importance of marriage and how to prepare ourselves to enter into it. Now we need to look at God's purposes in instituting marriage. To marry and miss God's purposes in marriage is to enter a life full of frustration and disappointment. Maintaining a biblical, godly perspective of the purpose of marriage provides the foundation for a meaningful marriage relationship. All believing young men and women should enter marriage with the right purposes for which God established marriage. Many these days enter marriage for many other reasons which God has not prescribed. We often see parents seeking an alliance for their son as there is no one to take care of the aged parents or there is no one to do the household work. It is shocking to see many young men considering marriage to get money from the girl's parents in the form of dowry. Some others marry girls of a particular profession to get a chance to migrate to America, England, or some other affluent countries. No wonder many such marriages fall apart after some time; for they were never entered in to for the right purposes which God ordained for marriage. We cannot expect God to bless such marriages. No one should enter marriage with any purpose other than the ones the Bible has prescribed.

The Bible clearly teaches that partnership or companionship is the primary purpose of marriage. And the Lord God said, β€œIt is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet for him.” (Gen. 2:18) God brings a man and woman to share life together. Every human being was formed by the Creator with a deep need and longing to be in a relationship. We were not created to live alone. Marriage fulfils the yearning in the human heart for companionship. It is God's plan that they become one (See Gen.3:24) Marriage is the process of two people becoming one. Two people who are distinct with different personalities and different gifts, blending their lives together and becoming one. It is not just living together under the same roof or sharing a bed together. When God created Eve and brought her to Adam he said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man". The expression in the original Hebrew indicates intense excitement over the fulfilment of a desperate need. God gave him a companion like him and with the same human nature.

According to God's plan, this relationship should end only with death. The Word of God does not allow any human authority to separate a man and his wife. The divine decree to this effect in Mark 10:9 is very clear and strong. "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.β€œ The Bible also teaches that God established marriage for the pleasure of man through sexual fulfilment. Our God is interested in our wellbeing. He wants us to enjoy life. Marriage is a gift from our heavenly Father given so that the husband and wife may know each other intimately in love, and through their physical union they may celebrate oneness and strengthen the union of their lives. God created man with a legitimate desire to have physical relationship with the opposite sex. Marriage is the only God appointed legitimate means to fulfil that desire. 1Cor.7:5 teaches that husbands and wives should be fair with each other in this matter and should not refuse sex to each other. This passage encourages us to understand our spouse's needs and act unselfishly to meet them. Sex teaches us to give to one another unselfishly.

Our relationship is deepened and enriched as we learn to give to each other. You cannot separate sex from love in marriage; they are inseparable. God has designed marriage to be a sexually intimate and passionate relationship. Such a relationship produces a sense of fulfilment, satisfaction, pleasure, and joy. Sex is a God ordained means to express true love and commitment between husband and wife. It is a blessed and sacred union between the two. It is giving oneself totally to the other. It is the fulfilment of a total relationship. It is a commitment, not just consent. It is not just a physical act but a combination of spiritual, emotional, and physical union. Physical relationship within marriage is the most glorious intimacy known to mankind. God is greatly honoured when his gifts are rightly celebrated. Partnership is strengthened by it. The wholesomeness of sexual relationship in marriage is clearly taught in the Scriptures. Song of Songs elaborately pictures the beauty of sexual love. (Song of songs 4:11, Proverbs 5:18,19)

Procreation is another purpose for marriage as seen in Gen.1:28. Then, He blessed them and told them, "Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish [fill] the earth". See Jer. 29:5, 6 also. Children are said to be a blessing of God in Psalm 127 and 128. There are many passages in the Old and New Testaments that speak of the significance of procreating children and raising them up in a godly way. (Psalm 139:13-16; Proverbs 13:22 and 17:6; Mal.2:15; 1Tim.2:15; 5:10) We learn from the gospels that Jesus Christ treasured children in his midst, and in fact said that we must become like children to enter the Kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 18:3). God wants people to multiply and fill the earth. This plan is carried out through marriage and family. Man was made male and female and blessed with the blessing of fruitfulness and increase. It requires a man and woman joining together to procreate. The ultimate expression of intimacy and oneness between a man and his wife is seen in the birth of a child. Childbearing is one of the fundamental roles of the family. The basic plan of God is that children be born into families and brought up by a mother and father. (Single parenthood, which is becoming the norm in modern society, is a departure from God's plan and will lead to serious consequences for future generations.)

Even after man fell into sin, God continued with His plan for families. Later, after the Flood, in Gen.9:1 He reiterated His plan to Noah and his sons, "Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth". God continued His plan when He chose Abraham and miraculously gave him a son in his old age. It is to be specially noted here that angels were not made male and female for they were not to propagate their kind (Luke 20:34-36). But man was made so that he may propagate and fill the earth. Believers are to strictly follow the biblical guidelines for child birth and parenting. They should not allow the morally sick society around to dictate terms to them in these matters. Children should be seen as a 'blessing' and not as a 'nuisance' or 'option'.


– John Kurian

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.